That you feel like that could be your life – it’s probably Russian literature.
“Do you remember you shot a seagull? A man came along by chance, saw it and destroyed it, just to pass the time.”
The Seagull, Anton Chekhov
PS: if you get the chance and happen to be around London, you would do well not to miss a wonderful staging of The Seagull at the White Bear Theatre (every Tuesday to Sunday at 19h30, until the 22nd).