The mad scientist

“They say, the definition of madness is doing the same thing and expecting a different result.” The Hives – “Try It Again”

No. That’s the definition of Popperian falsifiability.

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Together, alone

“Como es posible que haya estado en tus infiernos
Es imposible, no, misterio, y quien tuviera su don
Sería posible conocerte más por dentro
No lo conseguiré, saber más de ti”

“Club de Fans de John Boy”, Love of Lesbian

I wouldn’t dare to expect anyone to know me better than my favourite singer-songwriters.

Promises you can’t keep

If I fell

If I fell in love with you
Would you promise to be true
And help me understand
‘Cause I’ve been in love before
And I found that love was more
Than just holding hands

If I give my heart to you
I must be sure
From the very start
That you would love me more than her

If I trust in you oh please
Don’t run and hide
If I love you too oh please
Don’t hurt my pride like her

‘Cause I couldn’t stand the pain
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain

So I hope you see that I
Would love to love you
And that she will cry
When she learns we are two
If I fell in love with you”

The Beatles

A lullaby for my brain

“Every single night’s a fight with my brain”

Every Single Night

Every single night I endure the flight
Of little wings of white flame
Butterflies in my brain
These ideas of mine percolate the mind
Trickle down the spine
Swarm the belly, swelling to a blaze

That’s where the pain comes in
Like a second skeleton
Trying to fit beneath the skin
I can’t fit the feelings in

Every single night’s a light
With my brain

What’d I say to her
Why’d I say it to her
What does she think of me
That I’m not what I ought to be
That I’m what I try not to be
It’s got to be somebody else’s fault
I can’t get caught

If what I am is what I am
‘Cause I does what I does
Then brother get back ’cause my breast gonna bust open
The rib is the shell and the heart is the yolk
And I just made a meal for us both to choke on

Every single night’s a fight
With my brain

I just wanna feel everything
I just wanna feel everything
I just wanna feel everything

So I’m gonna try to be still now
Gonna renounce the mill a little while
And if we had a double king size bed
We could move in it and I’d soon forget

That what I am is what I am
Cause does what I does
And maybe I’d relax let my breast just bust open
My heart’s made of parts of all that surrounds around me
And that’s why the devil just can’t get around me

Every single night’s alright
Every single night’s a fight
Every single fight’s alright
With my brain

I just wanna feel everything”

Fiona Apple

Only dEUS knows…

Nothing Really Ends

The plan it wasn’t much of a plan
I just started walking
I had enough of this old town
Had nothing else to do
It was one of those nights
You wonder how nobody died
We started talking
You didn’t come here to have fun
You said: “well I just came for you”

But do you still love me?
Do you feel the same
Do I have a chance
Of doing that old dance
With someone I’ve been
Pushing away

And touch we touched the soul
The very soul, the soul of what we were then
With the old schemes of shattered dreams
Lying on the floor
You looked at me
No more than sympathy
My lies you have heard them
My stories you have laughed with
My clothes you have torn

And do you still love me?
Do you feel the same
And do I have a chance
Of doing that old dance again
Is it too late for some of that romance again
Let’s go away, we’ll never have the chance again

You lost that feeling
You want it again
More than I’m feeling
You’ll never get
You’ve had a go at
All that you know
You lost that feeling
So come down and show

Don’t say goodbye
Let accusations fly
Like in that movie
You know the one where Martin Sheen
Waves his arm to the girl on the street
I once told a friend
That nothing really ends
No one can prove it
So I’m asking you now
Could it possibly be
That you still love me?
And do you feel the same
Do I have a chance
Of doing that old dance again
Is it too late for some of that romance again
Let’s go away, we’ll never have the chance again

I take it all from you
I take it all from you
I take it all from you
I take it all from you

I take it all from you
I take it all from you”

dEUS

Unintended dialogue

Aimee Mann – “But can you save me / Come on and save me”
Kings of Convenience – “I don’t know what I can save you from”
Aimee Mann – “From the ranks of the freaks / Who suspect they could never love anyone”

I will never marry

Or am I bluffing?

The truth is, hurt can go a long way in making you shut out whoever comes next. How many times do you need to be tricked and realise it was just an illusion until you’ve had enough? So far, hormones have made me a believer, but maybe for the last time.

Romantic love? Don’t believe the hype.

 

The Bachelor

No one will wear my silver ring
Poor little turtle dove
Sitting up in pine,
Mourning for your own true love,
Why not me for mine,
Why not, why not me for mine?

I’ve got hogs in the pen
And corn to feed them up,
All I want is someone who will
Feed them when I’m dead and gone,
Feed them when I’m dead and gone.

‘Cause I’m not gonna marry in the fall
And I’m not gonna marry in the spring
I will never marry – marry at all
No one will wear my silver ring
Wear my silver ring, boy

I’m not gonna marry in the fall
And I’m not gonna marry in the spring
I will never marry – marry at all
No one will wear my silver ring
Wear my silver ring, boy

Poor little turtle dove
Sitting up in pine,
Mourning for your own true love,
Why not me for mine?
Why not me for mine?

So I went up to this mountain
To give my horn a blow,
All the boys in the valley said,
“Yonder comes my beau,
Oh, yonder comes my beau.”

But I’m not gonna marry in the fall
And I’m not gonna marry in the spring
I will never marry – marry at all
No one will wear my silver ring

I’m not gonna marry in the fall
And I’m not gonna marry in the spring
I will never marry – marry at all
No one will wear my silver ring (wear my silver ring, no one)

Poor little turtle dove
Sitting up in pine
Mourning for your own true love,
Why not me for mine?

All I want is someone who’ll feed them when I’m dead and gone
When I’m dead and gone, now
I will never marry – marry at all
No one will wear my silver sing

Feed them when I’m dead, feed them when I’m dead,
Feed them when I’m dead and and gone
I will never marry – marry at all
No one will wear my silver ring.”

Patrick Wolf

“Alone again, naturally”

 

Alone Again (Naturally)

In a little while from now
If I’m not feeling any less sour
I promise myself to treat myself
And visit a nearby tower
And climbing to the top will throw myself off
In an effort to make clear to whoever
What it’s like when you’re shattered
Left standing in the lurch at a church
Where people are saying: “My God, that’s tough
She’s stood him up”
No point in us remaining
We may as well go home
As I did on my own
Alone again, naturally

To think that only yesterday
I was cheerful, bright and gay
Looking forward to well wouldn’t do
The role I was about to play
But as if to knock me down
Reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch
Cut me into little pieces
Leaving me to doubt
Talk about God and His mercy
Oh if He really does exist
Why did He desert me in my hour of need
I truly am indeed
Alone again, naturally

It seems to me that there are more hearts broken in the world
That can’t be mended
Left unattended
What do we do? What do we do?

Alone again, naturally

Now looking back over the years
And whatever else that appears
I remember I cried when my father died
Never wishing to hide the tears
And at sixty-five years old
My mother, God rest her soul,
Couldn’t understand why the only man
She had ever loved had been taken
Leaving her to start with a heart so badly broken
Despite encouragement from me
No words were ever spoken

And when she passed away
I cried and cried all day
Alone again, naturally
Alone again, naturally”

Gilbert O’Sullivan

And it doesn’t matter

How many times I say it’s over
I still feel the same

And it doesn’t matter
How much I hate myself for wanting you despite knowing you don’t care, losing control and doing stupid things like fucking up the metre
I still feel the same

 

Part Heart

When
We first fell
We used to lie
In my bed
But now
Where my brain’s supposed to be
There’s just some clouds
Instead
And part of me’s living
And part of me’s dead
And the part of my heart
Where you’re still lyin’, it fled

And it doesn’t matter
I still feel the same

And it doesn’t matter
How many colours I paint my nails
I still feel the same

And it doesn’t matter
How many times I change my clothes
I still feel the same

And it doesn’t matter
How much I stay indoors, leave the house
I still feel the same

And it doesn’t matter
How much I have to drink
I still feel the same

And it doesn’t matter
How loud I play my music
I still feel the same

And it doesn’t matter
What my good friends tell me
I still feel the same

And it doesn’t matter
How much I hurt myself
I still feel the same

And it doesn’t matter
No it doesn’t matter
‘Cause I still feel the same”

Kate Nash

All romantics become cynics eventually.

Maybe.

 

The Last Time I Saw Richard

The last time I saw Richard was Detroit in ’68,
And he told me all romantics meet the same fate someday
Cynical and drunk and boring someone in some dark cafe
You laugh, he said you think you’re immune, go look at your eyes
They’re full of moon
You like roses and kisses and pretty men to tell you
All those pretty lies, pretty lies
When you gonna realise they’re only pretty lies
Only pretty lies, just pretty lies

He put a quarter in the Wurlitzer, and he pushed
Three buttons and the thing began to whirr
And a bar maid came by in fishnet stockings and a bow tie
And she said “Drink up now it’s gettin’ on time to close.”
“Richard, you haven’t really changed,” I said
It’s just that now you’re romanticizing some pain that’s in your head
You got tombs in your eyes, but the songs
You punched are dreaming
Listen, they sing of love so sweet, love so sweet
When you gonna get yourself back on your feet?
Oh and love can be so sweet, love so sweet

Richard got married to a figure skater
And he bought her a dishwasher and a Coffee percolator
And he drinks at home now most nights with the TV on
And all the house lights left up bright
I’m gonna blow this damn candle out
I don’t want Nobody comin’ over to my table
I got nothing to talk to anybody about
All good dreamers pass this way some day
Hidin’ behind bottles in dark cafes
Dark cafes
Only a dark cocoon before I get my gorgeous wings
And fly away
Only a phase, these dark cafe days”

Joni Mitchell